The Mystic Triangle
by scribonia
Summary: Phoebe idly wonders whether there are mystic triangles other than the Bermuda triangle. Rachel, Emily and Carol are not amused by the results... Final Part up.
1. Phoebe's Rock

****

The Mystic Triangle

Monica, Rachel and Phoebe were enjoying a girls' night in at Phoebes. Chandler was minding the twins, and Ross and Mike were staying out of the way, under strict instructions not to expect to claim their womenfolk until late.

'This is so nice,' Phoebe said, after a lull in conversation. 'Just the three of us.'

'I know,' Monica said. 'It's not as easy as it used to be so it's even more special. Rachel just smiled.

'Three's a special number,' Phoebe mused. Monica and Rachel looked at each other tolerantly. 'Third time lucky.'

'Three witches in Macbeth,' Rachel laughed.

'Three daughters of the king,' Monica said.

'Three wishes,' Rachel said.

'And we're sitting in a triangle too,' Phoebe said. 'That's a powerful symbol.'

'I would have thought that was the pentagram,' Rachel said.

'Triangles are important,' Phoebe said, not to be distracted.

'Love triangles,' Monica said.

'Bermuda triangle,' Rachel laughed.

'Isn't that where Carol Susan and Ben have gone?' Monica asked.

'No, that's the Cape Verde Islands. It's for something Susan's filming.'

'Where are they?'

'Mike's got an atlas,' Phoebe said, and after short while found it. They looked at the islands.

'Oh, near Africa,' Monica said.

'Hey you could make a triangle with it,' Phoebe said, 'Those islands, New York and London.'

'Or Paris,' Rachel said, thinking of the job she'd nearly taken there. 'There's nothing special about London.'

'Oh yes there is,' Monica said with a smile.

After the girls went home, and after Mike returned, Phoebe returned to the atlas and had another look at it over a cup of herbal tea. It occurred to her that there was a grouping of three suggested by the triangle she had seen but it would have been extremely tactless to mention it. She leaned back on the couch and notice a rock that Ross had given her. It was of virtually no scientific value but she'd seen it at his place and had thought it looked interesting so he had given it to her. It had a sort of three way crack. She superimposed the rock on the North Atlantic. Funny. One line was pointing to the Cape Verde Islands, one to New York and one to London. She flipped it around clockwise once. It lined up again.

'Hey Phoebe, are you coming to bed?'

'Sure,' Phoebe said, and left the book and the rock where it was.

Ross was emerging from sleep. A feeling stole over him that something was not quite right. Through his eyelids he thought that it seemed to be lighter than he had expected. Would it be time to get up soon? He was still too tired to move. Next to him was a familiar presence, but there was something wrong with that and he couldn't work out why. He felt Rachel get out of bed. She was walking very heavily, he noted. She must be tired too. The bed didn't feel quite right either. He wondered whether it was something he had drunk last night.

He waited with eyes closed. It was quieter than he expected. Even at this time of night he'd have expected it to be noisier. Suddenly he noticed something else. Those were the wrong kind of bathroom sounds. He sat up and stared. This was not his bedroom – where the hell was he?

The bedroom door opened and through it came a heavily pregnant Emily who stared in horror at him. And screamed.


	2. London

****

Part 2

Emily screamed again this time clutching at her pregnant belly. Oh my God, Ross thought, alarmed, what's going on now? A small panicked voice piped from the corridor.

Mummy!' Although she was clearly in pain, Emily looked at Ross and was able to order,

Hide!' The only place was under the bed.

From under the bed he saw tiny feet run in.

Mummy mummy!' He saw Emily drop to her knees to embrace the child who seemed to be a little older than Emma. He heard Emily breathe in steadily, as if beating down the pain.

It's all right Ju ju, Mummy's here. Mummy just had a horrible nightmare.' Oh thanks, Ross thought from under the bed. He wasn't enjoying it either.

I don't like nightmares.'

Me neither sweetie. I'd better get you back into bed.'

Pick me up,' said the child.

Oh Ju ju,' Emily said, groaning and struggling up from the floor with her child.

After they had left the room, Ross emerged from under the bed. What would he do if her husband came back? How would he explain this to Rachel? She would never believe this – but the whole thing was totally incredible if not downright impossible. This had to be some kind of a dream. Why he'd have a dream like this was anyone's guess but who knew about dreams? Phoebe might, he'd ask her when he woke up

Emily returned.

She's asleep,' she said. We'd better talk – downstairs.' He had no arguments with the change of venue and he followed Emily downstairs into a sitting room. She closed the door and turned on him.

What have you done with my husband?'

I haven't done anything with your husband,' Ross said.

I went to bed with him and I woke up with you so you must have some idea,' Emily accused.

Well I just went to bed in New York and woke up in London,' Ross retorted, And I didn't buy and airline ticket so don't ask me.'

I do ask you! This is obviously your fault,' she snapped.

It is not my fault, do you think I wanted to end up here?'

I really couldn't say what you wanted Ross. You didn't seem so sure of that when I knew you,' Emily said, tartly.

Oh thanks, we've got an impossible situation here and you're bringing up the past.'

Where you belong!' What are you doing here? Have you decided you haven't messed up my life enough?' Anyone would think she was the one with the problem, Ross thought, he was the one who was in another country. But pregnant women were too hard to argue with. 'Do you want to finish the job just when things are going so well for me?' Emily demanded and then stifled a cry as another contraction started. This baby isn't due for another three weeks,' she said glaring at Ross. Another thing that's your fault,' implying the shock of seeing him had brought it on.

It might be Braxton Hicks contractions,' Ross said, nervous at the prospect of a labouring woman that he just knew he'd end up being responsible for if anything happened.

What do you know about Braxton Hicks?'

Well, I – er.'

Oh let me guess, you've had a baby with Rachel,' Emily said.

Well yes, but it wasn't what you were thinking,' Ross said hotly. There was no way he was letting her think that she was justified in believing that he'd had feelings for Rachel at the time their marriage. Although he didn't want to explore that in detail now.

I wasn't thinking anything. I certainly wasn't surprised.'

Well this isn't getting us anywhere,' Ross said. What the hell were they going to do? He could – but he couldn't anything. He had no wallet, credit card, passport. He didn't even have any clothes, just what he went to bed in.

Why don't you find out what's happening in New York?' Emily suggested.

Well if you're missing from there, maybe Geoff's there. I admit it's a crazy thought but so is this whole situation.' He stared at her. Well go on, ring and find out. I need to know where Geoff is, especially if this is labour.' He needed to find out too. If there had been a switch, that meant Geoff was in bed with Rachel. And looking at Emily's horrified face, he realised that she'd just worked it out too.


	3. New York

****

Part 3

New York

It was too early for anyone to be making calls, Rachel thought when she first heard the phone. Then she thought it might be Ross, but he'd made it home safe she realised half a second later. She remembered a kiss in her dreams which must have been him as he came home. But it could be Monica, or Phoebe, in need of help.

She picked up the receiver.

Ross? Ross, what – are' If he was there then who was in bed with her? Somebody was. She moved to the very edge of the bed and looked over her shoulder as Ross spolke.

Something really weird's going on,' Ross said, sounding very very far away, You're not going to believe it but – ' Rachel screamed in surprise. Susan was in bed with her. Susan? Rachel, honey, what's wrong?' Ross asked.

Oh nothing, nothing,' Rachel said confused. What was going on here? Susan appeared to be stirring in her sleep and Rachel watched her wake.

Where – ' Susan sat up and looked around. Rachel had already moved to the extreme side of the bed, almost on the edge. Susan moved the other way and fell out.

Who's there?' Ross demanded.

No-one,' Rachel said. How was she going to explain this? Susan was such a sore point with Ross after what had happened with Carol. She remembered how he had worried about her spending time with Emily in London when they had still been together – a pity Emily was unrelentingly straight, Rachel had thought at the time.

Don't lie to me Rachel,' Ross said. Far away as he sounded, he seemed so very sure that someone was there. Tell me who's there.'

Ross,' Rachel said, I can explain.' She couldn't actually. I mean I can't explain, I don't know what's going on.'

That makes two of us,' Susan said, slowly standing up.

Susan!' Even Susan heard that one. What's Susan doing there? Isn't she supposed to be overseas?'

She is but somehow she's here, I haven't had the chance to ask her why,' Rachel said.

Don't ask me, I've got no idea,' Susan said. I went to bed with Carol and then I woke up here.' Ross had heard only that Susan spoke and insisted on having what she said relayed.

But this is crazy. And where are you?' Rachel said, 'Why aren't you here?'

Well the funny thing is that, I'm er.' Now he was sounding very very cagey.

In the Cape Verde Islands?'

London? You mean you're with Emily?' There was a delay before she got her answer. She head a background voice, not clear enough to make out words and she heard Ross say,

No, here's not there.' Some anguished reply came back followed by a cry.

What's going on Ross?'

I just wanted to make sure, you don't have an English guy named Geoff there do you?'

No,' Rachel said, And I don't want one. Why did she cry out? I assume that was Emily.'

She's in labour.'

Oh that's all we need,' Rachel said. 'Soon?'

'It only started when I got there.' On my God, thought Rachel. Ross continued, 'I have no idea what's going on. We've got me, who's been transported from New York to London to take Geoff's place,'

Oh no you don't,' Rachel interposed. Geoff would be Emily's husband, so No Way.

Then there's Susan, who's been transported from the Cape Verde Islands to New York to take my place, but she'd better not,' Ross added in warning. And Geoff's missing. That's Emily's husband.' But Rachel had spotted the theme.

He'll be on the Cape Verde Islands.'

How do you know?' Ignoring him, Rachel said,

Phoebe's at the bottom of this.'


	4. Cape Verde

****

Part 4

Cape Verde Islands

Carol moved in her sleep, rolling towards the other occupant of the bed. Drowsily she reached up to stroke Susan's face.

Aah!' she screamed, touching stubble. There was a man in the bed – although at her scream he had shot out of bed.

Who the hell are you?' he demanded.

I like that!' Carol said, outraged, This is my hotel room, what are you doing here? And where's Susan?' The man blinked, looking confused.

Where is this?' Layabout tourist drunk drug addict, Carol thought. She'd heard about English soccer fans, although she wasn't aware of any matches on the islands, but she supposed that sort of person didn't need a soccer match or indeed didn't even need to like the game. She dialled hotel security. She eyed the man warily as he looked out the window and asked again, Where is this? What's going on?'

Security? I've got a strange man in my room, will you get him out, now? Room 314.' She heard a tapping on her door and since the man still seemed to be staring out the window and not about to interfere, she opened the door.

Mom, what's happening?' Ben saw the man, Who's that?'

I don't know. Security is coming.' She wished the man would attempt to run away, then it would not be her problem. Instead, he stayed near the window. He wasn't interested in her, that was clear, but it was almost as though he had no idea where to go.

Where's Susan?' Ben asked.

I don't know,' Carol said, worried. What have you done with Susan?' The man turned back to her.

I think we'd better get some things straight. I have no idea where I am, how I got here, who this Susan is, or who you two are for that matter. The last thing I remember is going to bed with my wife, in our house. I had no wine at dinner and I haven't had a spliff in years, so I am fairly sure I'm not hallucinating.'

Mad,' Ben breathed. He'd never seen a madman in real life before and he was making sure he got a good look.

I don't believe a word of it,' Carol snapped.

Neither do I but in the absence of further enlightenment it will have to do,' the man said. Would you mind telling me where I am?'

The Verde Grande.' Carol wondered where the security people were. Why wouldn't they hurry up? The man sighed.

Let's start big shall we? What country?'

'What do you mean, What country?' Carol exclaimed.

Cape Verde Islands. Of the coast of Africa. West Coast,' Ben said, as helpfully as possible. The man buried his face in his hands.

Oh God, this is some kind of nightmare,' he said. Carol wasn't sure whose. The hotel people arrived.

I think you'd better call the police,' Carol said. My room mate is missing.' Apart from saying he wanted someone from the embassy, the man said nothing as he was taken away. There was no clue as to what had happened to Susan.

****

New York

Phoebe paced the room under the glare of Rachel and Susan, and to the puzzlement of Mike. It was still the middle of the night but Rachel and Susan were in no mood to care what time it was. The only person being shown consideration at the moment was Emma. Rachel had briefly considered leaving her with Monica, but that would have taken time in explaining what was going on, time, with Ross stuck in another country, she did not want to lose. Emma was now asleep in Phoebe's bed, happy for a bed time kiss from her honorary aunty Phoebe, and oblivious to the undercurrents.

I don't know why you're blaming Phoebe,' Mike said for the eleventh time.

She was the one going on about triangles and mystic connections between London, New York and the Cape Verde Islands,' Rachel said. She's the only possible reason that any of these things could have happened.'

Yes, but what did I do?' Phoebe asked, We looked at the atlas. Here it is.' She took the rock off the book and showed the page. 'You were there, so was Monica. What's so risky about opening an atlas.'

What did you go after we went home?' Rachel asked, Come on Phoebe.'

I'm trying,' she said upset. Look, we had the atlas open, we had some coffee, we talked some more. Mike came home, you two left. I had a shower, and then I came out to put the things away. I just had a look at the map again and then I went to bed.'

What was that rock?' Susan asked.

Oh that? I was just playing around.' She picked up the rock. You see these lines? Well if you put the rock here – '

Phoebe!' Rachel shouted. Phoebe stared as she placed the rock on the Atlantic Ocean. What did you do next – just tell me, don't do it.'

Well you see how the lines point to New York, London and the islands? I just wanted to see if you turned the rock around if they still lined up and they did.'

That's it,' Rachel said. I don't know why but that's it.'


	5. Start Making Sense, Please!

****

Part 5

'But Rachel this doesn't make sense,' Mike interposed.

'Sense?' Rachel asked, gesturing at Susan, 'You're asking for sense? Ross is in London, Susan's here. You explain it.' Mike shut up. They all looked at the rock for a moment as though it was about to explode.

'I'd better call Carol at the hotel and see if she's okay,' Susan said. 'She's going to have no idea what's going on if some strange man just turns up in her bedroom. Would you mind if I used your phone Phoebe?'

'She's not allowed to mind,' Rachel said snappily, thinking of Ross with Emily. Part of the reason they'd split up must have been because they hadn't dealt with their problems face to face and she did not like the fact that they now were face to face. Phoebe nodded at Susan who began to make a call to directory inquiries. 'The question is, how do we fix the problem?'

'Well they could all fly back to where they came from,' Mike said. Rachel narrowed her eyes.

'Ross has a presentation in eight hours. He has no passport, no money and almost no clothes on.' Damn! She wished she hadn't thought of that. 'I want something a lot quicker than a plane.'

'Why is this happening anyway,' Mike asked. 'Why are those three being switched around?'

'The common factor is Ross,' Phoebe said.

'What do you mean?' Rachel asked sharply.

'Well, in each of these three places is an ex wife of Ross.' He seems to have moved to Emily and her husband has shifted around somewhere and so has Susan.'

'And why has Ross gone to Emily and not Susan?' Rachel asked, annoyed.

'I don't know. Maybe… maybe it's the way I turned the rock. I moved it clockwise. Ross went clockwise, Susan went clockwise…' Rachel and Mike stared at the map.

'I see.' Then Susan came into the room.

'Someone did turn up in my place, an Englishman,' Susan said. 'Carol had him arrested. She's not sure she's going to be able to explain this to the police, now that they've got him.'

'Too incredible,' Mike said.

'Yeah,' Susan said. 'Also she doesn't speak Portuguese.'

'So you'll have to do something,' Rachel said to Phoebe, thinking they had wasted quite enough time.

'Okay,' Phoebe said, 'I know what to do. I'll just undo what I did and everyone will be back where they should be.'

'You're sure that'll work?' Susan asked.

'Either it will work, or nothing will happen. I don't know what we do if nothing happens but let's just try it.' Nobody could see the problem with that. 'So are you ready?' Phoebe asked.

'Ready as I'll ever be.' Susan turned to Rachel. 'Thanks for the loan of your clothes. I'll wash and iron them before I send them back to you.'

'Sure, any time.' Rachel said. She gave her a hug and then at a sound from Phoebe's room that could have been from Emma, went to investigate.

'OK,' here we go,' Phoebe said. She moved the rock.

Susan was still there.

'Oh, I guess it didn't work,' Phoebe said, despondently.

'Well of course it didn't,' Mike said, clearly thinking they were all mad.'

The door to Phoebe's room opened and closed and footsteps hurried out. They all turned to see Emily who was pale and shaking. She was staring at them. In a horrified whisper she asked,

'What the hell's going on?'


	6. Susan's Idea

****

Part 6

They all stared at Emily, before Phoebe rushed forward to steer her to a chair.

You look like you're about to faint.' Emily was putting up no resistance and Phoebe felt as though she'd got her into a chair just in time.

Hi Emily,' Susan said. It was looking a like a night of reunions.

Hello Susan,' Emily said with a brave smile. Everyone. Please tell me what's happening.'

We don't know Emily,' Susan said, looking at Phoebe. Does this mean that everyone else has moved?'

Everyone?' Emily asked.

I've been moved too. And Rachel and Ross and your husband. Maybe Carol too,' Susan said, with an unpleasant look at Phoebe.

I'm sorry Emily, Susan, I just thought' Phoebe burst into tears. 'I was just trying to fix things.' Why wasn't it working? Mike embraced her, staring over her shoulder at Susan, whom he vaguely knew, and at Emily whom he'd never seen.

Ow,' Emily said.

Are you okay?' Susan asked.

Not I'm not,' Emily said through the pain, I've started labour, my waters broke half an hour ago,' she said in despair. While Susan and Rachel had been rushing over here. My husband's missing and I'm thousands of miles from home, about to give birth, and Julia is all on her own with people she doesn't know - if she wakes up she'll be so frightened.' Emily started hyperventilating.

Let's call your home and see what's happening there. Then I'll call Cape Verde,' Susan said, giving her a hug. Phoebe broke free of Mike and started making herbal tea. It was the only thing she could think of doing at the moment.

When the contraction was over, Emily dialled and everyone else crowded around the phone.

Hello,' Ross said.

You're still there?' Emily said. Susan pressed the button for the speakerphone that that they could all hear:

Emily? Where are you?'

I'm in New York. Susan is here. And Phoebe and' Emily looked at Mike.

Mike,' Mike said. 'Phoebe's husband,' he told Emily, and not knowing what to do next, shook hands with Emily, 'Please to meet you.'

We're on speakerphone so you can talk to all of us,' Susan added.

Hey Carol, Susan's in New York,' they heard Ross say.

Carol's there?' Susan said anxiously.

Yeah. Emily disappeared and Carol just appeared.'

Geoff's not there?' Emily said.

Is Julia awake?'

Not as far as I know, I haven't been to check,' Ross said. What's happening over there?'

Rachel disappeared and we got Emily,' Mike said.

Rachel's disappeared!' Ross shouted.

Well I guess she's in Cape Verde with Geoff,' Mike said.

Geoff. He would be the guy who appeared in Carol's bedroom?' Ross said. Sensing something wrong, Emily asked,

What's happened to him?' Susan, Phoebe and Mike looked at each other. She wasn't going to like this.

I'll let Carol explain,' Ross said and Carol came on the line.

Hi Emily, er look, I'm afraid they've arrested him.'

Look I'm sorry but I had no idea this crazy thing was happening. He was a strange man in my bedroom in the middle of the night for no reason, he could have been anyone. He was no happier about it than I was of course. I called security and they did the rest.'

Oh no,' Emily said, starting to cry quietly. Susan and Phoebe patted her shoulders.

So what just happened then?' Carol said, after a pause.

It's a bit hard to explain over the phone. I was trying to undo what I did before,' Phoebe said.

'We really need this fixed. Ben's on his own in a foreign country where the people speak either Portuguese or some other language I can't remember. If Rachel's there, that's not so bad, but I'm still not happy about it.' Phoebe bowed her head. 'And Ross wants to know where Emma is.'

'Emma's safe in my bed,' Phoebe said. She quickly ran out to check up on her, just in case she had somehow disappeared with Rachel. But Emma was sound asleep in bed, and Phoebe returned to the main room to find Susan staring at the atlas and the rock.

Let's think this one out. You've got this rock and we think that you moved it clockwise once, and so Ross, Geoff and I each moved one place clockwise. You then moved it once anticlockwise and then Carol, Emily and Rachel moved one place anticlockwise. So moving it anticlockwise affects the exwives – sorry Carol,' Susan said, avoiding Emily's sudden look of dislike, And moving it clockwise moves the partners.'

You mean this is all actually to do with Ross,' Emily said flatly.

It looks like it,' Susan said.

I knew it was his fault,' Emily said.

So to fix it then it seems that you move the rock two places anticlockwise, then two places clockwise,' Susan finished. The others stared at her. There was silence on the phone. Well has anyone else got any ideas?'


	7. 270 degrees x 2

****

Part 7

Emily had another contraction. Phoebe fussed around her while Susan and Mike wondered just how close she was to delivery and whether they'd need any hot water or towels.

'I'm booked in at St Hughes, I can't possibly have the baby here,' Emily said on the other side of it.

'Do you think it's that close?' Susan asked anxiously.

'I'm not sure, Julia took four hours.'

'Four!' Phoebe said, appalled, 'But the first labour takes ages, eighteen or twenty-four hours.'

'So they told me,' Emily said. 'When my first labour started, they said I was making a fuss like all first time mothers and not to come in until the contractions were ten minutes apart. They _were_ ten minutes apart when I left home. Julia was born in the hospital car park forty minutes later. Then they asked why I didn't come in sooner.' She put a hand to her forehead.

'How far apart are they now?' Susan asked.

'I don't know, in all the excitement I haven't been timing them,' Emily said, adding sourly, 'I'm not sure it really matters.'

'And second babies are quicker!' Phoebe said, panicked.

'So I've been told,' Emily said. 'That one I believe.'

'Well ex wives first then,' Susan said.

'Do you mind?' Emily said, annoyed.

'Sorry, but you really need to get back. I hope you make it inside the hospital this time. It was nice to see you again,' Susan said.

'Nice to see you,' Emily said, as Susan kissed her. Phoebe gave her a hug.

'I'm glad everything turned out well for you. Good luck. Let me know how you go.'

'I will,' Emily said.

'Nice to meet you Emily,' Mike said politely. Emily had been making him have some definite thoughts about Phoebe and pregnancy generally.

'Nice to meet you too,' she answered.

'Well are you ready?' Phoebe asked. Emily nodded. Phoebe stared at the rock for a moment and then turned it carefully so that the line passing through New York passed through Cape Verde and then London.

They saw Emily vanish. Carol flickered into view for a second and then Rachel came through.

'I'm here? Thank God, Phoebe, you did it,' she said. She gave Phoebe a hug.

'You were in Cape Verde, right?' Phoebe asked anxiously. She was not sure if she could handle any complications.

'Yeah. Ben had the shock of his life,' Rachel said.

'Oh. Well at least Carol's back now,' Phoebe said, feeling another rush of guilt. Ben would be all right now - thank goodness Emma had not had to deal with any of this, and with any luck, Emily's little girl wouldn't have had to deal with it either. 'That's half of you where you belong,' Phoebe said. She looked at Susan, 'Are you ready?'

'Yes,' Susan said. 'Here we go again.' This time when Susan disappeared, a strange man took her place followed by Ross.

Before Ross had had time to get used to being in New York, Rachel flung herself into his arms.

****

Epilogue

No-one knew what to do with the rock. Ross had never said anything at the time he found it but it had briefly heated up in his hand when he had first held it. In retrospect, not that he ever admitted this to anyone, he wondered if it had been bonding with him in some way. At the time he had just put it down as one of those things you can't explain. He hadn't even meant to bring it back from the dig because it had no palaeontological value whatsoever but it had somehow found its way into his bag. He thought that it might have been a Native American Artefact and he showed to some experts. Every single one had said,

'It's just a rock.'

Someone had even added that,

'It's just a dumb rock.'

Leaving it lying around was dangerous, and smashing it to pieces was not something he thought he could risk, so in the end he buried it in a secret place. So far, nothing else has happened.

Rachel proposed to Ross. Although she had been previously happy to leave things as they were, given that marriage had not been a 'once in a lifetime event' for either of them, she had changed her mind. She did not, as she told Ross, want to be in a group with his 'ex wives' any more.

Phoebe had a huge phone bill. She had also felt very guilty about the whole thing for a while, especially since, when Susan reappeared, she reappeared in a Cape Verde jail. Explanations had been difficult. In the end though, Susan decided that like Emily, she would blame Ross, and Ross had to put up with some sly digs about his personal life, much to Carol's amusement. Phoebe got a post card from Emily so, as Phoebe said, the experience wasn't all negative.

Emily had a baby boy, apparently none the worse for wear after his prenatal trip around the North Atlantic Ocean. This time she got as far as the Hospital reception area. Geoff took three days to get over the shock.

Monica was told what had happened but she didn't believe a word of it.


End file.
